Welfare

Fat lazy toad
sits on the edge of my pool
Jumps in
Splash!
Sucked into the skimmer
along with the rest of the
swimming pool
trash:
Leaves and beetles
and windblown clippings
of freshly mown
Grass.
I fish him out
toss him next
to the old pile
of fireplace ash
But toad's quick
He's back in the pool
faster than Bobby Hayes
could run the 100 hundred dash.
I fish him out again
put him by the side of the road
stuff his slippery pockets
with cash;
Toad says
Hey padre
any chance
you got any hash?
I give him a sliver of Lebanese blond
no thicker than a blind man's
Eyelash;
No way fat toad's
getting a bigger chunk
of my private stash;
Toad sticks
out his thumb
seconds later has himself a ride
in a 53 Nash.
I go to bed
Eat popcorn
Drink pap
Watch back to back to back episodes
of Mash
And in the morning
Fat toad's sittin
on my window sill sash
Says man what a bender
I sure could use a place
to crash;
I wave him back
to the spare bedroom
where Fat Toad starts passin
the most fascist and noxious gas.
Months later Fat Toad's still
back there
and now he's got this horny She-Toad
Who's given him a ripe vile rash;
She-Toad's a bitch
Ornery, brassy
and brash.
I finally give up the ghost
Pack my gear
Light out
Take a long slow paddle
Down the Allagash.