Monday, April 09, 2007

A NEW PLEDGE FOR POLS

Just when we thought U.S. politics had hit rock bottom, Mitt Romney gets caught lying about, of all things, his hunting experience. It’s no big surprise; nobody gets elected in this country by telling the truth. But the disturbing thing is what poor old Mitt chose to lie about. Apparently you don’t get nominated these days without a tip of the hat to the multi-million dollar gun lobby.

While the Mittster’s mischief represents a new low in electoral politics, it provides an opportunity for concerned citizens to set standards for future candidates. I propose that henceforth, ALL applicants to public office be required to swear as follows:

1. I have served patriotically in the U.S. military.
2. I have never had sex with anyone but my spouse/spouses.
3. I have never inhaled.
4. I have used a firearm to pursue and kill at least one large mammal.
Note: Subsequent eating of said mammal is not mandatory.

5 Comments:

Blogger Bill Simpson said...

for mitt, a mormon--no odder denomination have yet the christians made--we will need to revise rule # 2: I have never had sex with anyone but my spouses.

April 10, 2007  
Blogger chuck said...

Very good. I've changed the wording to reflect Mormon practice and sensibilities.

April 10, 2007  
Blogger Mary O said...

Charlie-
Now it IS OKAY "to have sex with that woman". Jeez... even Newt's joined up with Bill.

April 10, 2007  
Blogger Bill Simpson said...

looking closely at mitt's mug, i'm curious: is he, perhaps, the first cyber candidate? something akin to the arnie s. character in the terminator flicks?

if not, can a completely computer-generated candidate be far off?

perhaps a computer-generated prez would be perferable to President Bumble. the programmers could tweak the chip so Cyber Prez would be able to change his mind without thinking it's a sign of weakness or ineptitude.

April 10, 2007  
Blogger Junglechina said...

Strangely enough Mitty is the only Republican(seeking nomination) to have been married just once, when it would have been perfectly okay for him to have 2 or even 3 or more wives.We might also wonder if he was thrown out of his community as a youth and forced to take to the streets as a male prostitute. This being the Mormon tradition when the young men are circling the young women that the old lecherous men want as their 10th or 15th or 23rd wife.(see Big Love on HBO my source for all things polygamous.)

April 11, 2007  

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